Thanks for watching this episode of The Family Couch
In this episode of The Family Couch with Dr. Adam Pletter, a Clinical Psychologist who works with children (and the parents that come along with them) we discuss the impact the digital age has had on raising our children and how this generation is facing an unique predicament in parenting the unknown.
We are (and will be) the only generation who will have not grown up with the internet but will have to deal with kids who are completely attracted to it. We will have to try and understand it, have kids completely integrated in, and just hope that everything inside that small screen in their hand is just fine.
Today, we discuss that how parents have become digital pioneers, a phrase that means we must teach ourselves about the media our children are using in real time as we are using it – it is ever evolving. Dr. Adam explains that he finds many parents are more comfortable creating boundaries around the digital world like driving privileges: go “X amount” of distance and if there is a problem, then I will deal with this. However, this area is vastly different and through our conversation we discuss how instead of ignoring this world it will benefit parents to open up the communication immediately to learn exactly what is happening in the smartphone or tablet.
We discuss how the average child spends almost 9 hours a day in front of a digital screen and the benefits and negatives with this. Dr. Adam explains how as humans we naturally will react with anxiety to something new but how we need to begin by removing the fear (i.e. What IS SnapChat?) and creating a balance between what our children know and love and what parents are scared of. Next, we dive into the benefits of what will happen when parents break down these boundaries and are willing to push through to learn about what they do not know – becoming proactive in the digital world can open so many doors in the parenting world for them.
Our conversation turned to why steadfast rules you need to instill as a parent are not the answer – this type of thinking will be difficult to maintain in the digital age. There is always a new app coming out or way to communicate that, as a parent, you will have to learn about to keep up! However, Dr. Adam shares that family conversations will benefit by allowing your children to teach you their latest fascination, which give you the tools to make your determination on the safety of the newest digital phenomenon so you can make educated decisions on how you want your children to use it.
We jump into specific techniques on how let down your children when you have to tell them that they are unable to do something they really want. Dr. Adam shares that the answer can be “not yet” instead of “no”. Framing the answer like this opens conversations up so that you can explain why they are not allowed to download a certain violent video game or go to see an R rated movie this weekend.
Last, we discuss that in reality most children age twelve and older are completing schoolwork only online (ie. you cannot avoid the digital world). They are using the internet for homework and research. Dr. Adams shares why we need to work on understanding the digital world – it can be used with respect and in the right manner.